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Hello mateys!
It's a little known fact that ThinkGeek was founded upon two primary,
forty-two secondary, and 3.14 tertiary directives. Each directive was
hand-written in a simulated dot matrix font, by original ThinkGeek
overlords, encrypted using rot13, and then placed into a vacuum tube.
A button was pressed. In an instant, all the directives then vanished
with a very impressive woosh. That was over eight years ago. We still
can't find them, and the BOFH Overlords are now all like 'Haha, you
should have made backups'. Oh well. We still have no idea what we are
doing here day-to-day without the lost directives, but we are confident
we have identified at least one. And it goes thusly, "Aarrrrgh,
September 19th is International Talk Like A Pirate Day". Represent,
landlubbers. Represent.
############ << Featured Item << Invaders Of The Space Kind
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** Back Off LED Invaders Door Mat - Beware of Space Invaders **
Contrary to popular belief, here at ThinkGeek we do sometimes like the
company of humans. But frankly we've gotten pretty tired of folks
knocking at the ThinkGeek secret headquarters of doom during our daily
extended gadget play time. Fangirls, robots and the UPS guy are welcome
anytime, but to deter those other annoying carbon-based life forms,
we've installed the Back Off LED Invaders Door Mat. This nifty doormat
is imported from France and features a glowing display and motion
sensor. Any time someone comes near, a glowing green space invader
moves back and forth across the top of the mat. Potential guests,
having left their phasers at home, will usually run shrieking in
pixelated fear.
Get your only chance to stomp on some invaders right here:
http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/gear/9400/?cpg=58T
############################# << What's New(s) At ThinkGeek
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** IronKey - Flash Memory That Actually Self-destructs !! **
Some jackhole stole your memory key, and now those pictures (you know -
THOSE pictures) got posted on the interwebs. Weak sauce. Sure, there
are USB memory keys with encryption, but software encryption can be
broken quite easily. Hardware encryption in the IronKey is the only way
to go. Plus, if someone tries to hack your password, POOF! The
encryption chip self-destructs, leaving your data utterly unreadable.
The IronKey also packed with software to help keep your personal
information, and browsing habits, totally private. It's harder to find
better security than this anywhere! They come in 1 Gig, 2 Gig and 4 Gig
sizes, but due to the encrypting power of the onboard processors, we
can't export these outside the US and Canada.
http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/security/99f1/?cpg=58T
** Dear Mom and Dad: Need geek stuff. Please send cash. **
As you head back to school (or find yourself already there), you can
get everything you need, and everything you really don't need, from
ThinkGeek. Except of course the text books, a meal plan, and rolls of
quarters. We have nifty goodies to deck out your dorm, like our geek
pennants, and things to make you popular with your roommates, like the
Power Squid Outlet Multiplier. Mark stuff in your minifridge with the
DaysAgo Refrigerator Timers so you'll know when an item has
transitioned from foodstuff to science project. Of course, that's not
all we have, so head on over to our Back to School gift guide to decide
what all you need to make your education sexy time:
http://www.thinkgeek.com/interests/backtoschool/?cpg=58T
** Irregular IQ Cube - Train Your Brain **
ThinkGeek customers like puzzles that exercise their brains, but the
trick to most puzzles is to recognize the pattern and exploit it.
Pattern recognition is second nature to you guys, so colorful cube toys
should be no problem! Not if we throw a monkeywrench into your works!
Simply by cutting two additional rotational axes into your cube puzzle,
we've ramped up the difficulty to INSANE. Now instead of 6 sides,
you've potentially got 20 sides. We give you two so you can pool your
resources and share with a friend. Enjoy, and try not to hurl your new
toy out the window in frustration!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/games/9766/?cpg=58T
** Inka Pen + Mini Moleskine Notebooks - Note taking season is back **
Most geniuses and mad scientists have one thing in common: they all
keep little notebooks of their crazy ideas. Galileo had his notebooks,
da Vinci had his codices, even Dr. Frankenstein kept a journal of his
thoughts and feelings. We know you'll want to keep track of your genius
ideas too. That's why we're offering you this easy-to-carry Moleskine
Mini Notebook 3 pack - durable enough for all your musings and small
enough to hide in your pocket. Add an Inka Pen, and you'll always have
a writing implement handy. The Inka Pens use pressurized cartridges, so
you'll be able to write upside down, underwater, and in extreme
temperatures. And it too can hide away in your pocket - you know, in
case the Inquisition comes a-knockin'. Though who would ever expect
them?
http://www.thinkgeek.com/brain/whereisit.cgi?t=passnotes&cpg=58T
** The 360 Electrical Outlet - It's Revolutionary **
We've all encountered blockage - and we're talking about the electrical
outlet variety here. Your coveted gadgets have a nasty habit of taking
up excess outlet space leaving you hunched over searching for more
power outlets. The 360 Electrical Outlet features two rotating outlets
to fix this problem. The receptacles click and hold in 18 unique
positions and your devices stay powered even during rotation.
Installation is as easy as a regular outlet since its size is the same
as a standard electrical box. Each outlet is back-wired for speed and
accessibility. And for the do-it-yourself crowd, clear labels are
imprinted on the back of each outlet for hot, neutral and ground
connections.
http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/travelpower/9537/?cpg=58T
** We Know What Back To School Is All About - Swag, Swag, Swag... **
To celebrate the smart masses getting back to college / university /
assorted institutes of higher learning, we have two new shirts
featuring the staples of undergrad geek diet: pizza and beer.
CosaNostra Pizza Delivery is a tribute to one of our favorite books,
and FREE as in BEER will get you lots of attention. It's a chance for
you to proselytize the open software movement to all your drunk
friends. Although you might not have much to put in them, we also have
two new wallets with retro computing themes. These are sturdy, made
entirely of duct tape, and feature an old-style joystick or a floppy
disk.
http://www.thinkgeek.com/brain/whereisit.cgi?t=btsswag&cpg=58T
** Cap Blaster Blowgun + X-Launcher Flying Ring Cannon - Fire! **
The shortest distance between two points is a line. The most enjoyable
way to send an object between two points is a line of fire. And have we
got two new fun ways to launch things between two points! First is the
Cap Blaster Blowgun. Using only a puff of air you can send a suction
cup dart rocketing toward your target. But these darts have a secret -
a cap waiting to detonate upon impact. Boom...oh yeah. Then there's the
X-Launcher Flying Ring Canon. It's called a canon because with a simple
twist, pull, and release, you can send a ring zooming across your
office. It'll fly up to 150 feet, stopping only when it hits the ground
or a hapless coworker. Ah, hapless coworkers. They are such lovable
cannon fodder.
http://www.thinkgeek.com/brain/whereisit.cgi?t=shootemup&cpg=58T
** eStarling E-Mail Enabled Wi-Fi Frame - New Hi-Res Model **
The eStarling is a standalone Wi-Fi LCD photo frame that connects to a
wireless network and automatically displays photos e-mailed to it in a
slideshow format. You can also administer the photo content of the
frame remotely via a web page. Now eStarling has a new improved
standard 4:3 aspect ratio model with a beautiful 8" 800x600 resolution
display. To sweeten the deal they've completely overhauled the web
based interface, adding direct integration with Photobucket, better
support for RSS photo feeds and support for groups of frames to display
the same photo set.
http://www.thinkgeek.com/electronics/cameras/94a5/?cpg=58T
** Bi-Color LED Blow On-Off Candles - FIRE BAD! **
Candles light Great Halls in schools of magical learning; they burn
bright in the chambers of Elven Kings. But candles can be dangerous
("Fire bad" and all that), so we've stirred a mix of science fiction
into our candles of fantasy and these awesome LED candles are the
result. Regular candles will blow out if you blow on the flame, but
these LED candles will also blow on. Even better, each candle has a
switch to select either a cool blue flame, or a more realistic
yellowish flame. From the proper distance and height, these candles
will fool everyone into thinking they are the real thing; they are a
fantastic way to put candles where it is too dangerous to have open
flames. And, they won't drip wax all over your mithril armor either.
http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/lights/94ce/?cpg=58T
** Stainless Steel Wallet - Buttery Smooth Steel in Your Pocket **
Being die-hard geeks, it's hard for us to get excited about utilitarian
items like wallets. Yep, they hold credit cards and some money... they
go in your pocket... but they're just not as interesting as usb
thumbdrives or artificially intelligent robots from the future. But
then we came across these amazing wallets made from real stainless
steel and were forced to upgrade our view on wallets. You might think
that steel would be hard on your jeans pocket, but in fact these
wallets have the texture of silk and are woven from micro fibers of
stainless steel. When you touch the silky metallic surface you'll think
they were created by sophisticated nanobots... and almost nothing is
more geeky than nanobots.
http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/gear/9964/?cpg=58T
** Geek Pennants + Temporary Tattoos - Decorate your walls and limbs **
Time to show off your geek pride. Tired of all the "cool" kids hanging
sports pennants in their rooms? Wishing you had a way to reflect a true
sport? Then let us recommend a Chess Club Pennant. And what do you hang
on your conquered opponent's wall? Why a Pwned Pennant, of course. Get
a few and pwn the world! But how to show this pride when you are out in
the world, you must be wondering. With temporary tattoos, of course!
And not with images of silly fictional characters (like girls or
"mom"), but with real life things like binary code and retro joysticks.
Sure, you might get beaten up wearing your "Born to Code" tattoo, but
revenge is just a Pwned Pennant away. Excelsior!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/brain/whereisit.cgi?t=geekpride&cpg=58T
** USB Podcast Studio - Crystal Clear Audio Recording Goodness **
Fancy yourself a budding audio podcaster? We'd love to hear your views
on the psychological and moral implications of too much Bioshock
play... problem is we can't hear you too well through that crappy mic
on your laptop. Upgrade your audio kit with this deluxe USB Podcast
Studio pack. You get everything needed for crystal clear audio
recording and editing. The included USB mic features a 19mm internal
shock mounted diaphragm with a cardioid pick up pattern ensuring
pristine studio quality. A shock mounted desktop mic stand and Cakewalk
Sonar LE audio workstation software round out the package. You even get
a sharp looking aluminum briefcase to store all your new audio goodies.
Get recording!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/electronics/mp3/99e5/?cpg=58T
** Neckware For the Rest Of Us **
If you work at a large, uptight corporation, you've probably resisted
getting the brainchip implant that turns you into a corporate drone.
However, in order to blend in with the rest of the masses, you have to
wear a tie. Wouldn't want them to be able to identify the resistance.
At least you should enjoy being non-conformist in your little bit of
conformity. Try on one of our new ties for style, which come in six
delicious flavors: atoms, caffeine molecule, formulas, monkeys
(recently escaped from barrel), pirates (pieces of eight + skull and
crossbones), and (our favorite) Space Invaders. Neckties never had it
so good. Except that one time.
http://www.thinkgeek.com/apparel/hats-ties/9b49/?cpg=58T
######################################## << Quick Blurbs !!
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!! See the HTML Version Of This Newsletter! It's Pretty !!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/edm/20070913.shtml?cpg=58T
!! September 19th Is Talk Like A Pirate Day - Don't Forget !!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/brain/whereisit.cgi?t=pirates&cpg=58T
!! Pirate vs Ninja Batteries - Deadly Power !!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/travelpower/96f0/?cpg=58T
!! Star Trek Retro Action Figures - Reproduction Mego goodness !!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/plush/9a42/?cpg=58T
!! Tranformers Pillows - Choose your allegiance carefully !!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/plush/979e/?cpg=58T
!! Interchangeable Ring Kit - Match your ring to your mood !!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/apparel/jewelry/98e6/?cpg=58T
!! Universal Power Adapter - Plug your stuff here !!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/travelpower/9751/?cpg=58T
!! Auto LED - Rechargeable flashlight !!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/lights/983b/?cpg=58T
!! Plush Microbes - Herpes in the house !!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/plush/6708/?cpg=58T
!! USB Security Lock - Physically Lock Your USB Ports !!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/security/98fe/?cpg=58T
!! Pocket Multi-tool - Something useful in your pants !!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/tools/99b6/?cpg=58T
!! Retro TV Alarm Clock w/remote - Vintage chic !!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/watches/9862/?cpg=58T
!! Queue CD Holder - Like a rolodex for your CDs !!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/computing/accessories/99df/?cpg=58T
!! Collector's Edition Slinky - In retro package for retro fun !!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/cubegoodies/9a73/?cpg=58T
!! How to Survive a Horror Movie - Read this book... or else !!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/books/humor/94db/?cpg=58T
!! 3 Port Car Outlet Expander with USB - Do more on the road !!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/travelpower/961f/?cpg=58T
!! The ThinkGeek Animated Retro Table Tennis T - Back in stock !!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/gaming/8e31/?cpg=58T
!! USB Memory Watch - Back in stock !!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/watches/9771/?cpg=58T
!! Ethernet LinkCheck - Back in stock !!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/tools/8c63/?cpg=58T
!! Telespy Intrustion Detector - Back in stock !!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/security/821b/?cpg=58T
!! Black Black Gum/Candy - Back in stock !!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/caffeine/candy/68ad/?cpg=58T
####################### << The Latest Action Shot Winner !!
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ThinkGeek Action Shots. Get Famous now.
Latest Newsletter Winner: Vorpal Rabbit Attacks Real Bunny!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/plush/778d/action/211d0f0/?cpg=58T
Get the scoop on sending your own ThinkGeek product action shots and
get a chance at our $100 monthly giveaway here:
http://www.thinkgeek.com/action-shots/?cpg=58T
##################### << The Latest Techie Haiku Winner
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The latest ThinkGeek Techie Haiku Winner is:
Akela, from San Francisco, California !! His winning haiku:
---
I love the tech life
It lets me IM the guy
Sitting next to me
---
Wanna win a $50 ThinkGeek gift certificate? Just send us your original
HAIKU and each newsletter we'll select one winner. The winner gets a
$50 ThinkGeek gift certificate and gets published right here! More info:
http://www.thinkgeek.com/haiku/?cpg=58T
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visiting the URL below:
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