DEAR ABBY - May 29, 2007
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GopherCentral's Question of the Week
Should the Constitution be amended to allow Arnold
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Question of the Week</a>
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QUICK INTERVENTION LETS VIOLENT KIDS GET THE HELP THEY NEED
ABBY: On March 4, you printed a letter about "Logan," a 5-
year-old boy who said he tortured animals because he enjoyed
it. His counselor said he was "fine," and the child's
behavior was the result of his being "neglected." May I
point out that the writer of that letter has only the boy's
father's word that that was the counselor's "diagnosis"?
I'm no expert, but Logan's behavior seems like the result of
much more than lack of attention. In fact, it seems like
that of a textbook psychopath. Your advice that the child
needs serious psychiatric intervention was spot-on.
Many parents ignore or play down these behaviors, but if
unattended, such violent children often spend the rest of
their lives in prison. Please stress to your readers the
importance of following up on violent children. It's in the
child's best interest, and the community's, for these kids
to get immediate help.
-- SEEN IT ONE TOO MANY TIMES IN COLORADO
DEAR SEEN IT: I agree, and I will continue to do so. As an
advice columnist, I am in no position to diagnose a child.
However, children cry out for help in various ways -- some
of them nonverbal. A child who cannot fit in, or who
displays antisocial behavior, needs to be evaluated by a
mental health professional so steps can be taken to correct
the problem.
Readers, the mail I received about that letter was alarming.
Please read on:
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ABBY: Years ago, my son's longtime playmate, "Timmy," killed
the guppies in our aquarium. I spoke to the boy and heard
his lame excuse that "he just felt like doing it." I was
sadly remiss and let other things take my attention, so I
didn't mention the incident to Timmy's parents. Years later,
Timmy took a gun to school and killed his teacher "because
he felt like doing it." If only he had gotten help before
that fatal action left an innocent family without a parent.
Please keep pounding home the importance of seeing early
warning signs and getting good help for these troubled
children.
-- LOU IN AUSTIN, TEXAS
ABBY: We had a child we obtained guardianship of when he
was 10. I'll call him "Randy." We weren't given his complete
history. Within six months, Randy had killed birds, kittens,
stabbed my husband twice, and tried to kill his biological
brother. (He had a plan for how to do it, and a backup plan
in case it didn't work.) I could go on and on.
When we started talking to Randy's family and people who
knew him, we learned that his behavior had started when he
was a toddler. We had to take him to several psychiatrists/
psychoanalysts before we could get any help for him. Randy
functioned well when institutionalized, but couldn't
function in a "normal" environment. It took us two long
years to have the boy legally removed from our home.
He is 14 now, and was recently sent to detention because he
attempted to beat up a teacher at school. This happened two
years ago, but we are still feeling the after-effects.
-- MOM IN THE MIDWEST
ABBY: At age 5, my friend's son, "Gavin," threatened to
kill his mother and his brothers, and he meant it. After
two horrible years, they finally found a pediatrician who
said it wasn't because they were "bad parents." An MRI
showed a portion of Gavin's brain had no electrical
activity. It's the part that allows him to understand right
from wrong and feel empathy.
Gavin is nearly 18 now, and soon to be out of a system that
has been trying to train other parts of his brain to take
over. My friends have never given up on their boy -- they're
angels on Earth.
-- KAREN IN COLORADO SPRINGS
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ABBY is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as
Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline
Phillips. Write ABBY at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box
69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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More Self Help from EVTV1.com:
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END OF ABBY
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