Latest World News on Internet Business Money Market: Dear Abby - Friend Foils Woman's Plan To Cover Up Topless Past

DEAR ABBY - May 21, 2007
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FRIEND FOILS WOMAN'S PLAN TO COVER UP TOPLESS PAST

ABBY: Ten years ago when I was in college, I worked briefly
as a topless dancer to pay my rent. I am not proud of it,
and frankly, I try to forget it ever happened.

I am now married and have young children. My husband knows
about my past and doesn't judge me. We have an agreement --
we just pretend it never happened. Of course, nothing has
been said to our children or other family members, and we
do not plan to say anything.

I have a friend from college, "Nancy," with whom I get
together once or twice a year. We recently had her over.
Out of the blue, Nancy looked at my 2-year-old daughter and
said, "Did you know your mommy used to be a stripper?" Then
she laughed. I was stunned. I let out a nervous laugh and
stammered, "Uhh ... I try to forget I ever did that." She
laughed and repeated her comment to my child!

Nancy is the last person I would have expected to say some-
thing like that. It wasn't meant maliciously, but I don't
know why she said it. Maybe it was just a joke that turned
out incredibly not funny. She has no children, so maybe she
doesn't realize how impressionable a 2-year-old is.

My husband wasn't in the room when it happened. When I told
him about it a few days later, he was very upset. He said I
need to address this with her before we get together again.
He says if I don't, he will.

I feel that we don't see Nancy often enough for this to be
an issue. I couldn't believe she said it in the first place,
but I can't believe she'll do it again. Of course, I'd be
horrified if she did. What do I do?
-- STRIPPED OF MY PRIDE

STRIPPED: I believe your friend will do it again. Nancy
appears to be a person who lacks good judgment, or is simply
unaware of how embarrassed you are by this part of your past.
Although your daughter is too young to have understood the
significance of your old college chum's statement, it should
not have been made in the first place.

Explain to Nancy that you are not proud of what you did and
ask her not to bring it up again, especially in front of
your children. If she won't comply, then it may be time to
end the friendship.

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ABBY: My brother and his fiancee are being married this
year, and I couldn't be happier for them. My problem is
they want me to be part of the wedding party, but I just
don't happen to be the "bridesmaid" type. I haven't worn a
dress since I was a toddler and really don't feel comfortable
wearing one.

The rest of our family expects me to be in the wedding,
and I don't want to hurt my brother's or the bride-to-be's
feelings. However, I feel it is better to take the risk of
hurting feelings now than have a miserable bridesmaid
ruining their perfect day.

Is there any way I can let them down gently?
-- NEVER THE BRIDESMAID

NEVER: You should definitely be a part of your brother's
wedding. The role you play does not have to be a bridesmaid.
Ask your brother and his fiancee if you could do something
that does not require that you wear a dress. Perhaps you
could do a reading instead. I'm sure you can work something
out so everyone will be happy on their perfect day.

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ABBY is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as
Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline
Phillips. Write ABBY at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box
69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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