Search News by Date

Friday, May 18, 2007

Daily Groaner - A Close Shave

THE DAILY GROANER - Friday, May 18th 2007
------------------------------------------------------------
Comment at the NEW Daily Groaner Forum:

http://archives.gophercentral.com/forum/forums/forum-view.asp?fid=49


<a href="http://archives.gophercentral.com/forum/forums/forum-view.asp?fid=49">
The Groaner Forum</a>
------------------------------------------------------------

Good Morning Groanies,

Today is not my day. I forgot to shave half on my face
this morning. So for most of the day I have been working
with my left hand on the clean shaven side of my face.

When it came time to have lunch I decided to run to the
bathroom and fix my problem. I brought a magic marker with
me and decided to draw facial hair on the nude side of my
face. It didn't look half bad... Oh, crap.

It's PERMANENT MARKER! What am I going to do? I look like
a 'Pirates of the Carribean' reject. Why did I do this to
myself? Because I don't work well under pressure, that's
why!

Well, I guess I'll have to practice saying "Arrr, maties!"

Groaningly yours,
Steve

mailto:groaner@gophercentral.com
<a href="mailto:groaner@gophercentral.com">Email Steve</a>

Looking for a Laugh? You'll find them on EVTV1.com:
<a href=" http://www.evtv1.com/humor.aspx ">Humor Video Clips</a>

Click for free info on getting an MBA and make $200K/ year

http://tag.gophercentral.com/fc/CAaCXujgqcoBWOfRGwqb4BA27fW8IsBR/

------------------------------------------------------------
GET A GRIP... With The Safety Bath Handle
No Home Should Be Without This IMPORTANT Safety Item

Store Price: $24.99
Our Price: $14.99 for one, $19.98 for two

Before we get to any information let's first say... No Tools
Required to install this. It's so easy ANY ONE can install
it.

The Safety Bath Handle is an easy-to-grasp handle provides
that sturdy support when you get in and out of the tub.

It secures instantly to fiberglass or tile with sure-grip
suction cups - no tools needed! Just flip down the green
tabs to lock the handle securely on any surface - horizontal
or vertical. Also removes easily to use elsewhere when
needed.

Made of durable plastic. 11" long and helps prevent
dangerous slips and falls for both kids and elderly. Can be
used on shower walls too! Order one for $14.99 or TWO (2)
for JUST $19.99.
VISIT: http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/585/l/6y07i7


<a href="http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/585/l/6y07i7">
Safety Bath Handle</a>
------------------------------------------------------------


A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the
burglar who had broken into his house the night before.

"You'll get your chance in court," the desk sergeant told
him.

"No, no, no!" replied the man. "I want to know how he got
into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to
do that for years!"


------------------------------------------------------------
If You Own A Toolbox You Need This...

Store Price: $14.99
DEAL PRICE: $7.99

Don't let the size fool you... this 6" Pocket Saw
cuts through almost ANYTHING. The heavy-duty carbon
steel blade with Tungsten Carbide edge saws through
steel, iron, aluminum, brick, ceramic, tile, wood,
glass and pretty much any other material you are likely
to find on your home-project or on the job site.

The foldable handle is safe and convenient, but the blade
is nearly indestructible. Plus, it never needs sharpening.
Once you start using it, this tool will become indispens-
able. http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/585/l/nf40c3


<a href="http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/585/l/nf40c3">
6" Tungsten Carbide Edge Saw</a>
------------------------------------------------------------


A young man was in love with two women and could not
decide which of them to marry. Finally he went to a
marriage counselor.

When asked to describe his two loves, he noted that one
was a great poet and the other made delicious pancakes.

"Oh," said the counselor, "I see what the problem is.
You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse."


------------------------------------------------------------
GopherCentral's Question of the Week

Topical, timely, controversial, click the link to answer
this week's GopherCentral.com Question of the Week.

Please take a moment to share your opinion, visit:
<a href=" http://rd.gophercentral.com/al/a?aid=7541&ent=2501 ">
Question of the Week</a>
------------------------------------------------------------

View The Daily Groaner Archives for your favorite jokes!

http://archives.gophercentral.com/newsletter_48.html


<a href="http://archives.gophercentral.com/newsletter_48.html">
Visit the Archives</a>

------------------------------------------------------------
If you are not receiving your newsletter please visit our
help page at:

http://scripts.gophercentral.com/gopher/gophercentralfaq.asp#notreceiving


------------------------------------------------------------

To SUBSCRIBE: http://www.gophercentral.com/sub/sub-groan.html


<a href="http://www.gophercentral.com/sub/sub-groan.html">Subscribe</a>

To UNSUBSCRIBE: http://news.gophercentral.com/s/?a=u&n=391


<a href="http://news.gophercentral.com/s/?a=u&n=391">
Unsubscribe</a>

You are subscribed as: khari.amit.news@blogger.com

Change Your Email Address by Visiting:
<a href=" http://scripts.gophercentral.com/email_update/start.asp ">
Change your email address</a>

------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright 2007 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.
Go ahead and forward this, in its entirety, to others.

No comments:

Subscribe now

Add to Google Reader or Homepage Add to My AOL Subscribe in NewsGator Online Subscribe in Bloglines