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Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Clean Laffs - I wish I had waited 28 years to see this dog.

CLEAN LAFFS - Tuesday, May 29, 2007
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Good morning crew,

In a fit of insanity I went to see the movie "28 Weeks Later"
this weekend. I don't know if I'm getting older or if movies
are getting stupider, but I actually had to get up and leave
about half way through it.

I was there with a date (her suggestion, by the way) so I
couldn't actually leave and, for example, go to the bar across
the street, which is what I really wanted to do, so I told
her I was going to the bathroom and stood in the lobby playing
video games for fifteen minutes.

When I got back to my seat I was able to stick it out for only
a couple of minutes before I had to tell her I was going to
the snack stand for a box of Jujubes and did she want anything.

I was able to amuse myself reading movie posters and talking
to the ticket girl for an additional fifteen or twenty minutes
until decorum forced me to go back to my seat. I was unfor-
tunate enough to be exposed to the last few minutes of the
movie.

If there is anybody on the list who is masochistic enough to
want to see this canis familiaris I won't spoil any plot
points for you, such as they were, but if you want to take
old Joe's advice you'll skip this one and save yourself nine
dollars and ninety minutes of your life.

If you want you can send me the nine bucks and we'll call it
even.

Laugh it up,

Joe

<a href=" mailto:joe@cleanlaffs.com ">Email Joe</a>

P.S. If you're interested we now have a Forum. You can post
comments on this and recent issues at...
<a href=" http://archives.gophercentral.com/forum/forums/forum-view.asp?fid=15 ">
Clean Laffs Forum</a>

***

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***

"At a recent speech to hundreds of university professors,
Bill Gates said it's puzzling why more kids don't want to
become computer programmers. Gee, I don't know, you think
maybe it's because at some point they'd actually like to
have a girlfriend." --Jay Leno

***

"A company is now making a cell phone that allows you to
talk to your dog. It enables you to talk to your dog. The
way it works is that first you have to be insane."
--Dave Letterman

***

"In Virginia lawmakers are considering a law banning people
from wearing pants that reveal their underwear in a lewd
way. Of course you could get by this law by just not wearing
any underwear." --Craig Ferguson


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According to my mother, she and Dad decided to start a family
soon after he became an officer in the Air Force. When months
went by without success, they consulted the base physician,
who chose to examine Mom right then and there.

"Please disrobe," he told her.

"With him in the room??" she yelled, pointing to my father.

Turning to Dad, the doctor said, "Captain, I think I found
the problem."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

My job is in the Aerospace Industry, and it's always been
a challenge to explain just what kind of work I do.

At one gathering, I tried several unsuccessful attempted
explanations before deciding to be as generic as possible.
When the subject came up while I was talking with a group
of guys, I replied simply, "Defense Contractor."

The men nodded, and as the conversation went on, I silently
declared victory to myself. Then, one of them turned to me
and asked, "So, what do you put up mainly? Chain-link?"

_____________________________________________________________

The Iraqi parliament has asked the US to withdraw. Should we
just leave?

<a href=" http://rd.gophercentral.com/al/a?aid=7541&ent=2501 ">
Click here to answer the Question of the Week</a>
____________________________________________________________


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END OF CLEAN LAFFS
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