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BIZARRE NEWS - Saturday, May 19, 2007
"Spanning the globe for the weird...strange...and stupid."
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Greetings fellow Bizarros:

With gasoline prices rising once again and threatening the
four dollar-a-gallon mark it is important to remember that
we are in a race against the increasingly polluting and
decreasingly available energy source of fossil fuels.
What we have on our side is technology. Solar energy, fuel
cells, biomass, hybrid technology, fusion reactors (on the
horizon), even a process for turning regular garbage into
light grade oil. We're still a long way off from winning
this race, but we are about to move up in the ranks thanks
to an exciting new process invented by the Japanese for
manufacturing gasoline instead of pumping it out of the
ground in the form of oil.

Manufacture gasoline? "Bullshit," you say. And you would
be right.

Sakae Shibusawa, an agriculture engineering professor at
the Tokyo University of Agriculture and Technology, said
his team has successfully extracted a half ounce of gaso-
line from every 3.5 ounces of cow dung by applying high
pressure and heat.

The team, helped by staff from the National Institute of
Advanced Industrial Science and Technology near Tokyo,
produced gasoline by adding several unspecified metal
catalysts to the dung inside a container and applying a
30-atmosphere pressure and heat of up to 572 degrees
Fahrenheit. Details of the catalysts could not be dis-
closed.

The team hopes to improve the technology so that it can be
used commercially within five years.

And there's a bonus. In a separate experiment revealing
another unusual business potential for cow dung, another
group of researchers has successfully extracted an aromatic
ingredient of vanilla from cattle dung. The extracted
ingredient, vanillin, can be used as fragrance in shampoo,
candles and related products.

Bizarrely,

Lewis

P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Bizarre News forum. Check it out here...

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+------------- Bizarre Accidental Discoveries -------------+

1. LSD
Swiss chemist Albert Hofmann was trying to come up with a
chemical to induce childbirth. Instead he developed lysergic
acid diethylamide, or LSD. After he tried a bigger dose, he
made another discovery: a bad acid trip.

2. X-ray
Several 19th-century scientists played around with the
penetrating rays emitted when electrons struck a metal
target. But the x-ray wasn't discovered until 1895, when
Wilhelm Röntgen tried sticking various objects in front of
the radiation - and saw the bones of his hand projected on
a wall.

3. Penicillin
Scottish scientist Alexander Fleming was researching the flu
in 1928 when he noticed that a blue-green mold had infected
one of his petri dishes - and killed the staphylococcus
bacteria growing in it.

4. Microwave ovens
The microwave oven came along in the 1940s. Microwave emit-
ters (or magnetrons) were being used to power Allied radar
during WWII. It was after a magnetron melted a candy bar in
Raytheon engineer Percy Spencer's pocket that the common
use for a microwave emitter was realized.

5. Potato chips
Chef George Crum concocted the perfect sandwich complement
in 1853 when - to spite a customer who complained that his
fries were cut too thick - he sliced a potato paper-thin and
fried it to a crisp.

6. Artificial sweeteners
Speaking of botched lab jobs, three leading pseudo-sugars
reached human lips only because scientists forgot to wash
their hands. Cyclamate (1937) and aspartame (1965) are
byproducts of medical research, and saccharin (1879) appear-
ed during a project on coal tar derivatives.

***

---------------- Man crushed by flying cow ----------------

Now here's a headline you don't read very often. A man was
killed after his car collided with a large cow, sending the
creature flying into the air before it landed on the car
rooftop and crushed the driver. Police said the 26-year-old
was driving along the Exmouth-Minilya Road near Carnarvon,
in Western Australia, when his Ford utility smashed into the
cow, which was standing in the middle of the road. "It is
believed that the cow had been thrown onto the roof of the
car and dented it on the driver's side, crushing the car
on impact," WA Police said in a press release. "The car con-
tinued to travel down the road, where it appears the animal
has fallen off around 50 metres past the point of impact."

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--------------- Man shoots self without gun ---------------

LUZERNE, N.Y. - A local sheriff says a Luzerne, N.Y., man
wounded himself while using household tools to remove bullets
from their casings. Warren County Sheriff Larry Cleveland
said Damion Mosher shot himself in the stomach while using a
vise, hammer and screwdriver to try to remove the .22 caliber
bullets from their casings so the empty shells could be sold.
Cleveland said the bullet did not have the same velocity as a
if it were fired from a gun and sank about a half-inch into
Mosher's stomach.

------------ Alleged bank robber stops for beer ------------

ORLANDO, FL - A man accused of robbing a bank in central
Florida was arrested this week after following up the alleged
heist with a beer at a nearby restaurant. Authorities said
after James Taylor robbed the Bank of America branch in east
Orange County, the 40-year-old simply changed clothes in a
van and went to a nearby pizzeria for a cold one. An uniden-
tified bank customer said that he saw Taylor, whom a teller
identified as the man who robbed her, apparently change
clothes inside the van. Orange County Sheriff's Cmdr. Jeff
Stonebreaker said that when officers arrived on scene, Taylor
was sitting outside enjoying his cold beer. "Just as cool as
can be," he said of Taylor, who was arrested for robbery.

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--------- Sewer Bowl gives workers chance to shine ---------

New York - Sewer workers in New York took time out of their
daily routine to showcase their work skills at the city's
20th annual Olympics of Sewage Treatment. The Sewer Bowl,
held each year by the city's Department of Environmental
Protection, gives teams a chance to earn a spot at the state
finals. Six teams competed Tuesday, with affectionate names
like the Tallman Island Turd Surfers, and the competition
was fierce. Frank Giovanniello of the Bowery Bay Bowl Busters
said he and his teammates spent weeks preparing for the
event. The team's hard work paid off, as the Bowery Boys
topped all other competitors to take home the Olympic crown.

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Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
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Do you agree with the Supreme Court upholding the ban
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Lewis, you ass. I've been a subscriber of Bizarre News since
before you even existed as editor and only in the past couple
of weeks have I ever not gotten an issue. How dare you just
randomly unsubscribe me. You better have a good reason for
it. Is it because I won't show you my boobs?? -Alexandria
[Sure. If that makes you feel better.]

In your last issue with the questions from are you smarter
than a 5th grader you showed: "Who was the first president
of the United States? Answer: George Washington." Some-
thing most people do not know... George Washington wasn't
the first U.S. President. John Hanson was the president of
the Congress of the Confederation and carried the title of
president of the U.S., as did eight men after him. -Mike
[Since the Constitution defines what our country is, we can
safely say that George Washington was the first president
of the current incarnation of our country. We can hardly
call the political entity that existed in this same geo-
graphical area under the Articles of Confederation the same
country.]

LEWIS, DID YOU HERE THE STORY ON BOB AND TOM ABOUT THE GUY
WHO PISSED ON PLAY STATION 2, IT WAS STILL PLUGGED IN, HE
WAS TAKEN TO THE HOSPITAL UNCONSCIOUS.
[All right. Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.]

Lewis, With 20 questions on the quiz, how in the hell did
you manage 79%. Did you get a question 80% correct. -Dennis
[Because there were only 19 questions.]

Lewis, The reader named Catt objected to bull fighting. She
then probably went out for a hamburger! -Brubrow
[In my opinion there is a difference between quickly
salughtering an animal for food and torturing one for hours
for the pleasure of it.]

------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------

Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do? Send
comments and questions to: mailto:lewis@bizarrenews.com
<a href="mailto:lewis@bizarrenews.com">Email Lewis</a>
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